Emotions.

I can't get my internet to work on my laptop for some reason so I'm updating really quickly from my phone...

I'm not really sure what's going on inside my head right now. Lots of conflicting emotions, that's for sure. I was doing the dishes and all of a sudden I just wanted to bawl my eyes out. I kind of just let a few crocodile tears out but that was it. I didn't now what else to do. There's so much going on that I'm having trouble thinking without getting emotional, and it sucks. I'm happy, but I'm really sad deep down. It literally aches in my chest and crushes my lungs in its grasp. It's awful and I hate it but I am too weak to fight it back.

I need to find strength but I have none. I'm really depressed. More than I normally am.

To be frank, I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, so that's probably why this all sounds so depressing and sad. I drank about a third of a bottle of hydrocodone in my attempt to calm the fuck down. Probably not the best idea I've ever made and it was mostly just me acting on emotions and not thinking. I feel like I'm gonna pass out or puke or cry or die or something. I'm probably just overreacting, but oh well.

I'm in a pretty low place right now.