I'm leaving Austin tonight. I'm going home for the semester. I'm actually doing this. I'm scared, nervous, excited, a little bit of everything right now. I only have a few more hours of him to myself before I leave. I wrote him a long note; I hope he reads it and takes it seriously. I get to take my kittens with me, too. He's letting me. I don't want to say goodbye, but I can't help but look forward to everything that is going to change in the next five months. Maybe after this time apart we will realize what we each really want. It's not like we're not going to see each other, but it still is a scary thing to do. He's all I've known for three years, and now I won't have him in my life every day. That is a scary thought to itself.
We've gone out to eat twice today a midst doing some fun things before I go, but I could hardly eat my food without feeling like I had to vomit. I secretly threw more than half my food away. I feel bad, but at least he was having a nice time. I like it when he smiles.
I'm not sure the next time I will be able to write exactly. It sort of depends how I get settled in and family stuff and such. I mean, it
is almost Christmas.
I know I've posted this picture before, but it is my favorite picture of us, ever. I will miss my best friend with all of my heart. I hope we come out of this okay.
Wish me luck. I love you all.
xx
I hope you stay strong hun. Who knows, you might look at what you both want and realise you don't want to go back or that you want to try harder and make it all over again? Love is strange.
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Keep going, and never give up!
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