I Still Refuse to Purge, Though.

So I cheated. Do you understand how hard it is to go back to normal after bingeing just once? Can you even begin to? I don't understand it at all, but I did it. Again.

My boyfriend said we were going out for dinner since it was too late to really do anything else (says he). So we ended up at this Mexican place we always go to used to go to a lot, before his dad died. It's a really good place, and I figured that since I've only had 255 calories all day, I'd go for a fajita salad with no meat. Sounded great, right?

Well basically I ended up eating a whole basket of chips and salsa, and to make matters worse with that, I ordered cheese dip. -____________-

WORST IDEA I HAVE EVER HAD. 

I ate the whole freaking thing, and ordered grilled steak enchiladas.

ALSO THE WORST IDEA.

I ended up eating all of it, even though I told myself I wouldn't do it because I had been so good all day. Then my brain kept telling me that I should have it because I've been good all day. It's pretty much a lose-lose situation (or win-win in my brain box...) and I kind of hate that.

I didn't even bother putting that food into my calorie counter. No need to. I know I was bad. I know that I could have stopped myself if I would have realized it was happening. But no. I didn't. Grumble.

On the bright side, I weighed myself tonight before my ice shower. I'm only 1.8 pounds away from my next goal weight!! If that was me with food inside, it *should* be pleasant to see my weight without all of that garbage in there. Hopefully by tomorrow night it will level off. Sounds like tomorrow is a liquid fast so that I can get those last minute nasties out before I weigh in again.

UPDATE 09/12 AM
I was wondering about this while I was getting dressed this morning. How do you lovelies keep yourselves from bingeing after a really big binge? Like, is the feeling of "needing" to do it again there for you? Honestly, I'm just so mad at myself for what I did (again, mind you) last night that I couldn't really even bring myself to think about food. It probably doesn't help that my supervisor gave me half of her muffin this morning and said there is no excuse for not eating breakfast... I fell really bad because she's such a lovely lady, she really is. But UGH. Any advice, Ana?