I had a post that I saved yesterday, but I forgot to finish it and I don't feel like it. Basically, it had to do with me getting heartburn for the first time in my life at 3:00 AM and feeling like I was going to die. I ended up staying home again the next day. I didn't do much else than sleep, watch movies, start a book, and take two showers. I made some potato soup that's low calorie too! I brought some for lunch today, so we'll see how good it is.
I came to campus today, but I took the day off work. Just going to my engineering class and Calculus, and I think that's going to be it for me. I have too much on my mind right now to really care.
My boyfriend and I are currently feuding, and it's pissing me off. He's honestly just being a dick about everything and doesn't really know the difference between a relationship and the borderline of cheating. He thinks that it's okay to just ask any girl he wants what kind of kinky shit they'll do to him and bullshit like that. For real, it makes me so mad I want to punch him. But I don't. I don't really ever talk about it. Until this past week, I had a hissy fit about it. I've been staving off everything I want to say to him for the past three years of my life. We found one of his dad's friends and his daughter to bowl with us in a league we've been trying to find friends for... Big deal. He asks me for her number, and all I hear about is "Rachel Rachel Rachel" for the next large chunk of my life. I'm sick of it, and it's so. effing. annoying. I haven't talked to him except for some pissed off texting for about 2 days now. I don't even know what I would say to him if he came up to me. We drove in silence this morning, got ready for school in silence, and I really just want to hug him and tell him I love him, but what does he care? He doesn't and he made that very clear to me. I'm this close to ducking out on the league and making him find someone else, but I know if I do that, I lose a night out and a night of exercise, so I'll just keep my mouth shut on that one. I don't want to see her. I want to just not. But I can't. I just don't know what's going to happen if this keeps happening. Life's going to suck now, and I guess I'm going to try and embrace that. Nothing else can go wrong. I think he's starting to figure out that I'm not eating much. He drove me to campus today and dropped me off so he could go to breakfast. He's been doing that more and more. He gets his meals by himself. On one hand, it's nice because I'm not forced to eat. On the other hand, it makes me feel like he thinks I'm not worthy of food (which I am not) and I don't deserve to accompany him. It's kind of like a win-lose, but both sides suck. You know?
No comments:
Post a Comment