Back to the Nitty Gritty

I can feel myself starting to get back into the groove. Partially because I have a really bad headache and feel nauseous even though I'm starving, but mostly because I can feel the rumblies in my tumbly. :-) It's a comforting feeling, to say the least. The past week or so has been pretty rough to get through. This past weekend I spent drinking with my best friends (the pretty gorgeous one included!) and that was fun. I've never been such a lightweight before, and I like that! It means there is less of me to fill up with alcohol!

I took an engineering exam this morning; not too sure how I feel about that one, but oh well. I got a two day extension on it because I "wasn't feeling well". In reality, I just didn't feel like studying. I don't feel like doing much these days. Especially this week. By some twist of nature I got my period this week. I'll tell ya, I haven't felt so awful in years. I definitely do not miss this. My supervisor bought me a little chocolate bar and dontchya know it? I ate the thing. I could care less. Obviously I'm probably not eating anything else today, but who cares? I get chocolate! By the way, chocolate and water don't taste very good with each other. Haha. :-)

Anyway, I'm starting to get like, really depressed or something. I just always feel so god awful and I never want to do anything. I'm also getting these spells where I forget what I do in between the times I actually remember. I'm pretty sure that's how I lost my wallet this weekend and that's probably why I'm so lazy anymore. I always forget what I have to do for school, so I just sleep in when I actually sleep and then I have like, no time to get anything done... My boyfriend felt bad last night so he bought a double caffeine energy drink. I drank it this morning. I'm pretty sure I already burned off the calories in fidgets and brain power. Haha. Not what I was necessarily going for, but I'm not going to complain. Now my head just hurts something awful.

I really just want this week to be over. It's like that most weeks, but this one especially. I'm just so physically exhausted. I stopped going to my math class. I have an exam on Friday. Definitely not feelin' it. I don't know how I expect to get a Chemical Engineering degree with all of this shit. I just don't have the energy to keep up with it. If this keeps up, I have no doubt that I won't be able to finish it. I'm halfway done, and I just need a push of encouragement. Encouragement is good, because I can't give myself any. I just can't. I try, and I just get this voice in the back of my head telling me I can't. It's bad.... to the point where I'm really starting to believe it.

I feel like Vincent van Gogh.